day 1

We made it through our first day. If I'm being completely honest it was utterly and totally horrible. I don't know how many times I broke down sobbing throughout the day. I cried every time we had a blessing on the food. I cried when I helped the boys say their prayers at bedtime. I cried when I said my prayers. I cried whenever I thought about Ace (which was pretty much all day). I cried when Ace texted me or called me from the airport. When I was getting ready for bed I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked awful. I don't know that my eyes have ever been so puffy and swollen from crying.

But we made it through our first day. It's going to be a long journey but we survived our first day. Diapers were changed. Boys went potty. Everyone got dressed. Everyone ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Teeth got brushed. Mac was ready for preschool when his aunt came to pick him up. We got naps. All four of us. At the same time.

Our house didn't fall down. I didn't put makeup on but, really, what's the point when you're just going to cry it all off? We were able to run to the store while Mac was at preschool. The playroom was tidied up. We played games. We did a little reading.

I may have stayed in Ace's sweatshirt all day long (go Bears!). I may have slept in his sweatshirt again last night. I may have slept clinging to our picture trying to glean whatever comfort I could from it. But we made it. I've been saying that we may not thrive but we will survive. . . and we did.